Change Your Life & Live Your Life On Purpose

Stuck in a rut and don’t know how to move forward? Know you need a change but don’t know what or how to go about it? Know what you want but have cold feet? Read on for some tips on how to become the person you were supposed to be and live the life you were born to live.

Be true to yourself

         Before you start changing your life around the first thing you need to do is be honest with yourself.  You may already think you are, but this may not necessarily be the case.  We humans are masters of self-deception. Many people have changed their life, jobs, partners, location etc., only to find it wasn’t really what they wanted after all.  Sometimes it is a good thing to know what you don’t want, and the only way you will ever really know, is by doing it.

         However, you can cut out some of the needless heartache by being honest with yourself in the first place.  It is all too easy to follow somebody else’s dream and not your own.  This may be through obligation, perhaps to ones parents who want to see you follow family tradition, or through love; you love someone and so you follow their dream, or maybe just because you don’t really know who you are or what you want, so you emulate somebody else’s idea of success or happiness.

         This is the tricky bit and that’s why it has to be the number one priority at the top of your list.

         Only you know who you truly are and what you will be happy with.

Identify what is holding you back

         The most common excuse we use for not following our dreams is lack of money.  We can’t do this or we can’t do that because haven’t had the opportunity, or haven’t got the money.  You were born in a barn and had to walk barefoot to school, whatever the excuse is, drop it right there.

         People in much worse situations than you manage to live happy and ’on purpose’ lives.

         If you really want something, there are ways of making it happen.  And if it isn’t happening, then you need to really have a good talk with yourself; be honest, see why it isn’t. It might not be your destiny.  The universe has a strange way of providing you with all the resources you need and it is up to you to take the opportunity when it arises.

         Another block could be family or peer pressure. If people love and respect you, and what you are doing is with good intention and from the heart, they should give their blessing to almost anything you do.

Some people blame things on events in their past and maybe you have to go back and identify what it is about a situation in the past that is holding you back, but don’t dwell there, or you will miss your future.

Make a decision and take action

         Once you have made a decision, you need to act on it.  Otherwise you have changed your thoughts and mindset, and not moved forward.  This is a torturous place to be.  I decided I didn’t like my job and it was an unsuitable career choice a good few years before I had the guts to hand in my notice. I also did the same with a relationship that wasn’t working out. Had I just acted on my decision when I had made it, I would have saved myself and others a lot of unnecessary angst.  Not to mention the time I wasted; both my own and other people’s.  So remember, once you have made an informed decision, which you know you need to take; then take action.

         It’s easy to look to others for a solution for the situations we find ourselves in.  Sure, take on board other people’s opinions and guidance, but remember, at the end of the day your decisions and actions are your own.  By entrusting yourself with the decision, and being responsible for the outcome, makes you stronger and more empowered.

Boost Your Self-Confidence

Try it

Groom yourself:

   This seems like such an obvious one, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and a shave can make in your feelings of self-confidence and for your self-image. There have been days when I turned my mood around completely with this one little thing.

Dress nicely:

   A corollary of the first item above … if you dress nicely, you’ll feel good about yourself. You’ll feel successful and presentable and ready to tackle the world. Now, dressing nicely means something different for everyone … it doesn’t necessarily mean wearing a $500 outfit, but could mean casual clothes that are nice looking and presentable.

Think positive:

   One of the things I learned when I started running, about two years ago, what how to replace negative thoughts (see next item) with positive ones. How I can actually change my thoughts, and by doing so make great things happened. With this tiny little skill, I was able to train for and run a marathon within a year. It sounds so trite, so Norman Vincent Peale, but my goodness this works. Seriously. Try it if you haven’t.

Kill negative thoughts:

   Goes hand-in-hand with the above item, but it’s so important that I made it a separate item. You have to learn to be aware of your self-talk, the thoughts you have about yourself and what you’re doing. When I was running, sometimes my mind would start to say, “This is too hard. I want to stop and go watch TV.” Well, I soon learned to recognize this negative self-talk, and soon I learned a trick that changed everything in my life: I would imagine that a negative thought was a bug, and I would vigilantly be on the lookout for these bugs. When I caught one, I would stomp on it (mentally of course) and squash it. Kill it dead. Then replace it with a positive one. ("C'mon, I can do this! Only one mile left!")

Get to know yourself:

   When going into battle, the wisest general learns to know his enemy very, very well. You can’t defeat the enemy without knowing him. And when you’re trying to overcome a negative self-image and replace it with self-confidence, your enemy is yourself. Get to know yourself well. Start listening to your thoughts. Start writing a journal about yourself, and about the thoughts you have about yourself, and analyzing why you have such negative thoughts. And then think about the good things about yourself, the things you can do well, the things you like. Start thinking about your limitations, and whether they’re real limitations or just ones you’ve allowed to be placed there, artificially. Dig deep within yourself, and you’ll come out (eventually) with even greater self-confidence.